Today's funniest press release

As a world-famous blogger with dozens (if not hundreds) of readers, every month I get various unsolicited press releases and PR inquiries (when are you available to interview our CEO). Since I have to keep my priorities straight (i.e. keep my day job), I ignore anything that would require additional primary research, particularly if it’s to tout one company.

Today I got the first newsworthy press release ever. Well, actually, not newsworthy — but amusing and worth sharing. It began:

Wirefly.com Announces Winners of Its “Most Embarrassing Moment with Your Phone” Contest

The winners of the contest (lightly edited from the press release) were:

1. Karen Emerson [won the grand prize] for her unfortunate, yet amusing story of absentmindedly forgetting her cell phone in her garter belt on her wedding day and having it ring to the tune of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” at the most inopportune time -- as her father walked her down the aisle. The contest judges were taken with Emerson’s story because of its inimitability, as well as her gracious attitude to be able to laugh off an otherwise regrettable incident.
2. Jon Froehlich: Believing he was speaking to a co-worker on the phone, Jon Froehlich referred to his boss, Mr. Clifford, as “The Big Red Dog”, referencing the popular children’s book. Unfortunately, it was Mr. Clifford on the other line.
3. Stacy Sawyer: Stacy Sawyer had to mitigate an argument between her parents because her father was continuously receiving text messages from “Lo-Cell”, whom her mother believed was another woman, when in reality, Sawyer’s father was merely receiving notifications that his battery was low!
4. David Toledo: David Toledo accidently dropped his BlackBerry into an airplane toilet on a flight to visit a client. He was able to fish it out of the toilet and it was still fully operational. However, when he arrived to the meeting, he was informed by his client that he had a huge blue stain on his face. The disinfectant in an airplane toilet was much stronger than he thought.
5. Stacey Fisher: While attending a Renaissance fair with her husband, Stacey Fisher tripped over a tree stump, causing her cell phone to soar through the air and land directly into the bosom of an unassuming woman, who was dressed in a bustier and corset, an authentic renaissance costume typical of maidens during that time.

The complete winning stories can be found at WireflyContest.com.

Let’s hope this doesn’t generate more lame press releases for my inbox. Right now the batting average is below .050.